Nov 20, 2009

Grand-kids speak, Part I

I'm about to try something I've never tried before. I intend to write a column in partnership with two 14-year-old girls — one of whom is our visiting granddaughter.

I tell my husband about this plan and he says, "Well that could be interesting — or not." (Exact quote — don't you think he's just way too direct?) He followed it by saying, "Are you sure?" (I tell him I think it was actually his idea at one time — ever tried that strategy?)

"Yes, I am," I respond.

Next week in my column, I'm going to let Sydney and Cara say "what they will" about grandparents and aging adults in general. I will encourage them to be authentic and try to weave it into something useful for all of us who are doting — grandparents, that is.

But, before we go there, I have a few points to make.

Grandchildren are a gift. Even if I'd never had any children, at this stage of my life I would probably borrow someone's kids and play with them. Learn from them. Cherish them.

Three of our four grandchildren will be visiting us at various times this summer — so I have gone to the www.grandparents.com ("it's great to be grand") Web site to prepare. We have a pantry full of good-for-you snacks, a summer agenda that includes croquet in the yard and walks to the local Spray Park with our big-hearted dog in the wagon.

As I write that last part, I'm thinking "¦ it will work for the 3 and 6 year olds — but I'm not as sure about 14 (and counting). I can already hear Sydney saying, "Ditch the wagon, Grandma."

Sydney and her best friend Cara are visiting us for a week in June. We've been planning it for more than a year and are delightedly over-preparing. We've exchanged e-mails about preferred foods and activity options. We've over-attended to the flight schedule and probably made the involved parents roll their eyes with our obsessive concerns about travel details.

Sydney sent a color-coded response to my list of ideas i.e. things to do while they're here. In the process of pondering and planning, I had a few small epiphanies. First of all — braces create food issues. Both girls have metal trappings on their teeth, so my large quantity of hugely-delicious organic peanut butter will not get used. Cara does not like "food with a face" and Sydney is very particular about her hard-boiled eggs (no yolks, lots of pepper). And so it goes.

But let me pause for a moment. I'm anticipating a wonderful summer experience. I know that for some grandparents, it's not quite as wonderful — it's an every-single-day, all-the-time happening. There are increasing numbers of grandparents (and other relatives) actually raising their grandchildren.

If you're one of those "grand" parents, or might become one, there's an exceptional resource for you — with a beckoning title, "Grand Care Tool Kit for Grand Families" available through www.aarp.org.

So I've started to tell you my story — what's yours? What's your big-hearted involvement with children these days? Think about it — initiate action if needed. (I'll give you a week.)

Sharon Johnson is an associate professor in health and human services at Oregon State University and on the faculty of the OSU Extension. E-mail her at s.johnson@oregonstate.edu or call 776-7371, Ext. 210.


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