A tough picture to take

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July 20, 2009

By Sanne Specht

Beau Berry and Nancy Swan never know what time of day or night the sad call to service will come. When it does, they head to the hospital, funeral home or hospice and offer the grieving family one small comfort — a perfect photograph of the parents' deceased baby.

"It's the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's also the most rewarding," Swan said.

Swan and Berry are members of the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation, which administers a network of about 7,000 volunteer photographers in the U.S. and 25 countries. At a family's request, an affiliated photographer comes to the location and conducts a sensitive and private portrait session.

"It's really hard to do," said Berry. "You're really clinical when you go in there. And you always have tears when you leave."

The portraits are then professionally retouched and presented to the families on an archival DVD or CD that can be used to print portraits. The service is provided at no cost to the family, and the entire network of affiliated photographers donates its time and talents.

"We do this for free," said Berry. "We usually give them a 4-by-6-inch book of 12 to 15 images. We always try to stage (the babies) so they look peaceful."

In the past two years, Berry and Swan have photographed more than a dozen infants who died before, during or just after birth, said Berry.

"Fortunately, we don't get these calls every day," said Berry. "But they'll call us 24 hours a day. I've done them at 3 in the morning."

In April, the pair photographed a full-term baby on Good Friday, Swan said.

"The baby died from asphyxiation when the (umbilical) cord wrapped around its neck," said Berry.

Berry knows the pain of losing an infant.

"I lost a child from genetic kidney disease at 6 months old," he said. "It's a process I wouldn't want any parent to go through."

Swan, the area coordinator for the foundation, remembers seeing a grainy Polaroid photo of a baby that a bank clerk had at the teller window. An attending nurse had taken the photo of the clerk's stillborn infant.

"They think they're going home with a baby," said Swan, "but they're going home with empty arms. At least she could have a decent picture. People treasure these photos."

The images are not placed on the Internet or displayed in any public fashion, Berry said.

"It's personal," he said. "Just for the parents."

The infants are photographed in outfits ranging from bridal dresses that have been reworked into burial gowns to simple receiving blankets. Rogue Valley Medical Center has two heart pendants it presents to parents whose infants don't survive, Swan said.

"One stays with the baby. The other stays with the parents," Swan said.

For more information, visit the Web site at www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org.

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