Oregon fans have been advised to stay away from sharp objects following their beloved Ducks' disturbing No. 3 debut in the first Bowl Championships Series standings.
Third in the BCS is like fourth in the Olympics, but the good news is this is the second-to-last ever, first release of the BCS standings.
The system is being junked in 2014 for a four-team playoff that would currently put this year's Oregon squad in the national semifinals.
How does that help Oregon now?
It doesn't, but it's also early.
The whiz-kid pundits were wrong in predicting Alabama and Oregon would debut at No. 1 and No. 2 in the first standings.
Alabama is No. 1, of course, with its glossy .9761 average, followed by Florida. Oregon is third by an eyelash, trailing by the margin of .9092 to .8993.
The BCS is weighted two-thirds to the Harris Interactive and USA Today coaches' polls, where Oregon sits at No. 2 in both, but is being pulled down by a No. 6 computer rating.
It's a flashback to 2001, when Oregon finished second in the coaches' and Associated Press polls but No. 4 in the BCS standings because of ... the computers!
It prompted then-coach Mike Bellotti to say the BCS was a cancer.
Florida passed Oregon on Sunday because it was No. 1 in the six computers that consistently mess up what common sense dictates.
Oregon can get to work on its computer numbers as early as Thursday when it travels to 5-1 Arizona State.
Don't sweat this, Ducks, it will all work out as long as you keep quacking out victories.
When has the BCS ever failed?
Now, on with the show: Kansas State is fourth, followed by Notre Dame, Louisiana State, South Carolina, Oregon State, Oklahoma and USC.
It was no surprise the SEC opened with four teams in the BCS top 10 (plus Georgia at No. 11). The SEC has won the last six BCS titles.
Oklahoma is also not news as the Sooners are the all-time leaders with 20 weeks spent at No. 1.
Conspicuously missing from the conversation, however, is the Big Ten Conference and USC.
The Big Ten added Nebraska last year thinking it would be an improvement, but the conference of "Leaders and Legends" has no teams ranked in the BCS top 25.
USC, considerably off the pace at No. 10, was this year's preseason No. 1 in The Associated Press poll.
USC take note: the record for BCS crawl-backs belongs to Louisiana State, which won the BCS title in 2003 from the No. 12 starting position.
The team it beat out that year for a spot in the title game was ... USC.
"We need to keep winning," Trojans Coach Lane Kiffin astutely stated Sunday.
It is nice to see fresh faces in Notre Dame, Kansas State and Oregon State.
For all its history Notre Dame has never been No. 1 in the BCS standings. They reached No. 3 the first two weeks of 2002, the year they started 8-0.
Kansas State was a first-year BCS star until a loss to Texas A&M in the Big 12 title game knocked Bill Snyder's team of the first title game.
Kansas State dropped all the way to the Alamo Bowl.
The Wildcats have not been this BCS high since finishing No. 5 in 1999.
Oregon State had its only glory run in 2000, ending up No. 6 to earn the Fiesta Bowl bid in which it routed Notre Dame, 41-9.
This is a bad-timing year for the Big Ten. Ohio State is 7-0 but restricted from participation because of NCAA probation.
The Buckeyes have been the Big Ten's power lifters in the BCS, tied for second with USC for most weeks spent at No. 1 (15).
Ohio State also owns the BCS record with 12 straight weeks spent at the top spot.
The Big Ten's woes could end up benefiting a team from a "non-AQ" conference.
BCS rules stipulate the highest ranked "non-AQ" champion in the top 12 earns a major bowl bid — not likely this year with one-loss Boise State sitting at No. 22.
Boise would also get a bid, though, if it finished in the top 16 ahead of an AQ champion.
The Big Ten, without Ohio State, is going have a difficult time getting its champion inside the top 16.