 Move over, El Niño: Here comes El Y2Kby Erik J. Martin Over the past two years, the warm El Niño weather system toyed with the planet, wreaking havoc upon country after country. Every outlandish meteorological phenomenon, from record high temps to smog clouds found in non-industrialized nations, was blamed on El Niño. Make no mistake: El Niño -- a disruption of the ocean-atmosphere system in the tropical Pacific -- caused global weather-related disasters in 1998 that cost 32,000 lives and wreaked $89 billion worth of damage. From massive floods to famines, the earth was severely impacted in the wake of a record-setting temperatures and atmospheric conditions. El Niño was guilty as charged. But it's only natural that a rash of non-weather related calamities would be attributed inappropriately to El Niño. It became so used in the past few years by the media, in fact, that the words "El Niño" quickly went household. And why not? It was so easy and trendy to point the finger at whenever ill fortune struck. Company downsizing again? Must be El Niño. Golf game down the toilet? Blame El Niño. Remote control won't work? Curses! Foiled again by El Niño! Now replaced by a cooler and less turbulent La Nina weather system, El Niño has since temporarily dissipated -- not only the meteorological event, but the chic buzzword, too, banished to the bowels of overused cliche-land like "Building a bridge to the 21st century" and "Hasta la vista, baby" before it. But a new plague has risen up to take its place, one that's been festering longer than a dormant volcano or an East Coast hurricane. Whether or not you're ready for it, here comes Problema Del Nuevo Milenio, the scapegoat heir to El Niño. Don't bother looking for its blip on radar, Mr. Weatherman -- this storm won't hit until next year. But when it does, the fault finders will come out of the woodwork in droves like the 17-year locust. Satellite dish won't work? Must be the Problema Del Nuevo Milenio. Clap on. Clap on! I said clap on! Now the Problema Del Nuevo Milenio's messed with my Clapper! What's that you say -- Hulk Hogan won the 2000 presidential election? Problema Del Nuevo Milenio's got us in a choke hold. Another foot of snow on the way? That devil Problema Del Nuevo Milenio's at work early this year! If you really think about it, the scenarios are pretty laughable. Yet, as sure as the sun will come up tomorrow, there will be mass scapegoating. It wouldn't surprise me if everyone involved in the computer industry -- from innocent consumer electronics retail store clerk to Bill Gates -- gets the public floodlight of scorn and the bullhorn cry of "What are you going to do about it?" cast upon them. If you believe recent predictions by some experts, the Y2K glitch will probably be fixed in time to prevent critical infrastructure failures like power outages and water-system shutdowns. Major business network collapses and government agency computer snafus will likely be averted. Society will likely not come crashing to a halt. This is all very good news. Let's just hope that the Millennium Bug is easier to predict than the weather. But, funny enough, it's the Y2K-caused minor inconveniences that will trigger outrage: the delayed airplane flight, the misplaced e-mail message. Even events unrelated to the computer error will get pinned with the Y2K scarlet letter. And it will grow. All it takes is a few Jay Leno jokes and some snowballing word-of-mouth. A year from now, look yourself in the mirror and ask if haven't blamed your stock's tumbling performance or that poorly-timed jury duty summons on Problema Del Nuevo Milenio. It's inevitable. The world will undoubtedly blame the Millennium Bug for a slew of misfortunes next year. Only remember, finger pointers: We can't pin this one on Mother Nature. Human beings created the Y2K problem and ignored it like an unheeded tornado warning. If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd tell us that the fault lies not in our stars, dear readers, but in ourselves. 1999 Thomson Target Media Erik J. Martin is a freelance journalist who has penned a regular multimedia column for Screen Magazine and has written for a variety of other publications, including the Chicago Tribune, Coverstory and The X-Files Official Magazine. He lives in Oak Lawn, Illinois, with his wife, son, and the Millennium Bug, which he is still trying to exterminate from his PC. Certainly no self-proclaimed technowhiz, Erik prides himself on being "an average guy with the same concerns and questions about Y2K as everyone else. My job? To get answers to those questions, and pass them along to you." |
