Dancing with the Stars: a political fantasy
Barack Obama is a Muslim who was born in Kenya. His parents put birth announcements in the Honolulu newspapers just in case he decides to run for president someday in an effort to overthrow the U.S. government and truly turn America into an Islamic nation. They also make arrangements with high-ranking state of Hawaii officials to create a fake birth certificate to assure Barack's ability to run for the presidency.
The parents then set out to raise their son to be a very nonconfrontational and nonaggressive person who will always be willing to compromise, even to the point of letting the opposition party always have its way.
In order to carry this off, he has to also be trained for one major effort to be both confrontational and aggressive. This one major effort will have to last the two years of a presidential campaign. He will have to be programmed to revert back to his easygoing manner just as soon as the election is over and he has won.
The purpose of this effort is to defeat Hillary Clinton in the primary campaign for the party nomination. As soon as he accomplishes this, he has to continue his efforts to beat John McCain in the general election.
Once he is president he magically changes back to his easygoing manner. He has to compromise constantly, in order to allow the Republicans to win many of the fights for political positioning that will decide whether a bill will pass in the House and the Senate. He has to make the Republicans look strong and the Democrats look weak at just about every opportunity, but he has to be careful not to overdo it. If he is successful at this and can prevent his party in Congress from always going along with him, he can almost certainly assure that the Democrats in at least one house of Congress will lose their majority in the midterm election.
If he is successful at all of this he can turn the American people against him and they will rally around the Republicans. The remaining Democrats will be so angered by this that they will nominate Hillary Clinton as the presidential candidate in the 2012 election. The Republicans, who hate Hillary at least as much as they hate Obama, will vote Sarah Palin into the presidency.
Six months later, all of the Muslims who have moved to the United States for this very purpose and bred endless Muslim children to help the cause, will go to Washington, D.C., to pretend to hold a "Rally Against Insanity" and will attack the centers of government and take over the country.
Now the Republicans are rid of both Obama and Hillary, Sarah Palin gives a "thumbs up" as she winks and says, "Now how do you like all that hopey, changey stuff?" and the only angry people are the Democrats, which pleases the Republicans and the tea partiers.
Within another year thousands of mosques are built from sea to shining sea and America goes on to become the greatest Islamic-Republican nation in the history of the world. Sarah Palin is given the title of "Queen of American Arabia" and is now competing on "Dancing with the Stars."
Ed Dillon lives in Ashland.