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Dis/order

A great artist creates masterpieces even in the midst of a fractured life. Look at Dostoevsky, Cezanne or Charlie Parker. We can say, "what was the use of that treasure in a chest, on top of the rubble?" Or we can drop the judgment, home in on the direction and intent of man's spiritual evolution as our reality, and see the surrounding swirls as dust clouds that will settle.

People accomplish great missions within their ever-struggling lives. Towns and great cities construct and reconstruct themselves as each citizen goes about his own business, and enveloping us all, the natural world evolves lushly and awesomely without any council convening.

What was ordered becomes disordered to improve upon it, and big mistakes are simply incorporated, turned to the better. The word "order" rests within "disorder," just as "chaos" means "without order."

Now let's look at this from a very personal angle. Something terrible happens, and we cry out, "Why?" This cry from our core seems simple, yet even coming from a toddler it holds deep layers of questioning. Here's five of the levels: What is happening? Why? Why me? Am I alone in this? How will I ever get help?

What is happening? There are changes going on. Things aren't just cycling around over and over. Rather, we're progressing as a world. It doesn't happen in a straightforward way. That's why "evolve" means "rotate out" or spiral, flinging things forth. We're unfolding, we're elaborating through our labors, we're playing improv medleys. And crucial mistakes get made in the rush, only to be redeemed.

Why? Why is it so difficult and painful, causing despair? Our divine nature is omnipotent. This doesn't mean everything just pops into existence with a snap of the fingers. Omnipotence, endless power, means energy is constantly being generated. We're designing, fashioning, testing, exploring, meeting. We're nurturing and being nursed, all of us, all lifelong. As a society, we scout out each upside, each downside, every blind alley of the maze. Like the city, like the forest, it's never lockstep or dictated or predetermined. It's hard, it takes everything we have (and we have Everything), it seems sluggard and overwhelmingly towering. And individually, we each suffer our own wounds of various stripes. We feel we've paid our dues (while owing nothing). We cradle each other in arms of understanding, commiseration and compassion. It would sound great if we could find our direction without pain, but it doesn't work that way. A person can overcome huge challenges of major illness, and then move right into a hurtful "higher level" problem, such as finding someone to love.

Why me? Well, in a sense it's never really about me. There are billions of missions to be undertaken in this place. In the hive, any egg could become a queen if need be, or a worker or drone. Humans share a collective unconscious (the dazed consort of our highest Self) that just divvies up our stuff. So it's experienced personally, while paradoxically it's also impersonal.

Am I abandoned, isolated, exiled? We're pierced by this anguish, while the whole time, God is closer than breathing, the very Self of myself.

How do I get out of this, how do I find help? Enlarging our own awareness is a royal road. Then outer events match up with us. We're each broadening through the days, whether we know it, or want to, or not. In the temple of our body, the school of our mind, the love nest of our heart, we're, every one of us, growing. The growing pains, the dis/order, are the complementary and paradoxical carrying onward of everything that had been settled before.

"I can't sit down, I can't sit down, I've got to move, move, move, 'round and 'round." Sing praise in the middle of the race, in the midst of salty tears, in the rending of the curtain within us. Sing it, brother.

Peace, love and joy.

Moshe is heard Saturdays 9:30 to 10 a.m. on KSKQ 89.5 FM, which has a new transmitter. See Mosheross.wordpress.com.

Residents of the Rogue Valley are invited to send articles on all aspects of inner peace to Sally McKirgan innerpeace@q.com