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Folks in a bind trying not to go blind

It goes like this: dozens of places put out the word that they had the much coveted “eclipse glasses” — Fred Meyer, Blackbird, Winco, Northwest Nature Shop, ScienceWorks, even the libraries. The list goes on and on. Why wouldn’t you have these little, cheap, paper glasses with very dark plastic film? It’s a great way to get customers to come in, right?

Well, even the stores had no idea the eclipse would be such a raving success, so — guess what — every single outlet ran out a week or so before the Great American Eclipse! Bummer!

With no small embarrassment, people were begging for them on Facebook. If a friend had even one pair, a long list of shameless begging followed.

Finally, Dutch Bros slyly put out the word they would have “free” glasses all day Sunday, if you bought a large drink. When did they open that day? At 5 in the morning. Who was there at 5 in the morning? Seemingly everyone!

A long line of cars inched forward at Ashland Street Dutch Bros and soon, buyers of large drinks got the idea of getting out of cars and standing in line. Wary of more supplies running out they got theirs first. Many people who’ve never been caffeine wired at 5 in the morning, got wired, then, presumably, many went back to bed (wired).

But they got their glasses and can look at the sun as the moon passes in front of it, covering 93 percent of it for a couple minutes, which, they say, is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Well, it’s not the full tamale as eclipses go, but for Rogue Valley residents, it will have to do. Many who decided to stay home were also dismayed to learn that dark predictions of endless traffic jams in mid-state did not quite turn out to be true.

Oh, well, we’ve learned our lesson and will be ready for the next one in several decades.