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Inner Peace: Walking in total freedom

Around November 1993, just one month before I received “A Course in Miracles,” I began to glimpse an orchestration of my search for truth that was undeniably miraculous. Searching for enlightenment in India, I was drawn to serve with the Missionaries of Charity.

After the volunteers had dispersed one morning to do their service, I couldn’t motivate myself to join them. I was drawn into a deep meditation right in the volunteer meeting room of the “Mother’s House,” the convent where Mother Teresa resided.

Sitting there in an expanded state, Sister Jose Ma saw me and asked if I was OK. I said yes, but wondered aloud if it was OK to be there like that. With affection, she bid me follow her upstairs to a balcony area where she had me sit on a small, two-person bench outside a large door. I was asked to sit, and then she left. After a couple minutes, out walks this bare footed, hunched over, humble and holy being, all radiant in her white habit with its blue edges, shining her gaze upon me.

Astonishingly, it was her — Mother Teresa! She sat down right next to me on the bench, then her gaze slightly elevated toward the heavens, rosary in hand, not looking at me, yet eyes piercing ahead through space. Unbelievably, we were all alone for the moment.

My state was elevated — electrically palpable — heart pounding fantastically with the love of Christ. I could not resist the pull, and I wanted to touch her feet. But she stopped me halfway, and pointed toward a statue of Mother Mary, indicating that I could touch Mary’s feet, but not hers. Her pure humility was yet powerfully transmitting divine awakening energy, or “Shakti” as it’s called in Sanskrit, deeply penetrating into my heart. Though she was operating within the Catholic system, I realized she was not defined by it.

After a moment, she quietly asked me, “What are you here for?” I gathered myself to speak, heart still pounding, “I’ve come to India for enlightenment. I am going to Yogananda’s ashram in Puri, to practice kriya yoga. I want to discover the truth and be free.” I noticed her hand steadily working her rosary, intensely attending, bead by bead, to the invisible Spirit within and around us. Her lips were barely moving as they quickly and quietly gave expression to her living devotion.

My eyes drew closed. She was sharing with me beyond words. I felt a strong vibration hovering above us; miraculously descend upon us, bringing profound inner peace, and a feeling of devotion to Christ.

She began to intuitively channel guidance from the Holy Spirit, very clearly and matter of factually, “You don’t need yoga.” A long pause followed and after a few breaths, she softly said with a definite ring of conviction, “Don’t forget Jesus.”

Suddenly, a bell rang and all the sisters convened below the balcony where our bench was located. I followed her to the ledge, to discover all the sisters staring up at Mother Teresa and I looking down over the rail. Then she led prayers in unison and with fervor before the sisters took lunch.

Mother Teresa was fanning the flames of my irresistible attraction to Christ, my undeniable passion for truth — although for me, a very different, non-religious, nontraditional attraction. As a matter of fact, that acknowledgment began prior to our surprise meeting, as I walked into the Mother’s house that day. There was a little blackboard that had a daily teaching on it, written perfectly for me it seemed, which made the hair on my arms stand straight up. It radically declared:

“Loving trust means casting all your worries and cares on the Lord, and walking in total freedom” (Mother Teresa).

I could feel the power of that statement foreshadowing a huge life-altering transformation for me. My heart is still ignited by those precious pearls of devotion. And by the time I returned to America, I was blessed to receive A Course in Miracles from a dear companion. An unexpected path of Christian mysticism — of recognizing this holy instant — taught me the practical application of forgiveness, and became a total commitment for me.

— Brian Theard is a healer, body worker, counselor and lifestyle coach, living and working in Talent. He teaches A Course in Miracles his companion Alexandra at the Talent library most Fridays at 7:15 p.m. Call 415-717-5065 for more.

Brian Theard