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Off The Vine

Wine guides long winded

Lorn Razzano —

Just the other day I came across a few wine descriptions — I thought I'd share with you. These descriptors are used in wine articles — around the English speaking world and rarely cease to amaze me. Having — grown up with E.B. White and a few of his buddies where "less is more" — in writing style, I find myself clawing at the descriptions I am reading. — Here we go:

1. "This syrah is stylish in an impertinent way. It fancies — itself a bigger, more important wine than it is regardless of the deep — fruit and concentration one first feels on the palate. The finish is short, — the berry nose fades away and the grip on the palate is whimpish at every — angle. Honestly, one must wonder why one would be fooled by its pretense — in the first place. I am underwhelmed and ask you to move away from this — weak kneed, uninspired, weak sister pretender." (ugh.)

2. "Riesling should remind its taster of the soft, gentle — and silent south sea winds with hint of mango-guava wrapped around dry — pineapple spear immersed in tropical, near mint. Not heavy mint, not knockdown, — brutal mint, but a hint, a kiss of mint, just tickling the palate in a — cleansing way reminding one of a fresh-dew morning breath. Try with tropical — seafood prepared as you remember from the islands." (Right.)

3. "I amazed by the power play, intensity, sock it to — me (No!) and overwhelming lushness of this merlot. Deep, garnet squeezed — purple expressions under watchful hands lovingly caressed by natures own — embrace then moved along the process by pure love. Do not miss this spectacular — offering when it is released, I'm sure I know I won't."

4. "Sparkling wine that simply tickles the nose to give — one a smile along the road to real (as opposed to unreal?) champagne. — Clean, palate cleaving, simply dusty dry without the astringency found — in lesser offerings this lovely bubbly begs to be served with fine pate — in a Paris bistro. How can we resist this champagne? Really, really magical — bubbles, to be sure!"

Okay, that is what I have to go through day after day. — Here's the hot winery of the week: Casa Girelli. This winery, quite a — large concern in Italy, makes three wonderful wines. The first is a flinty, — dry and crisp pinot grigio.

This wine is thirst quenching and fresh and runs about — $12 bucks. The second wine is a primitivo (zinfandel, we think) that offers — plush flavors with dark fruit tones. There isn't an angle in this wine, — just great depth of fruit and long flavors. The third wine is a nero d'avola-merlot — blend from Sicilia.

Warm, spicy and rich, I really like this wine. Goes best — with grilled meats and cheeses. All of these wines are under the $15 dollar — mark and worth a special effort to find.

See you next time!