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Finding love

Why are so many people unhappy and confused? I wanted to find an answer to that question. Many years ago, I began researching the way to an answer, looking at things from inside out, outside in and upside down. One thing appeared certain: everyone wants to be loved, and not everyone knows how to love and therefore struggles to find it.

Our knowledge of love is limited by our experience of it. We may or may not have felt it as children, or come to understand it as adults. There are plenty of erroneous examples for us to absorb — movies, television, popular music, novels, etc. None of these address the heart and soul of the deep meaning of love in relationship. And so many of us flounder, caught between what we perceive love to be and what it truly is.

While observing others, my personal journey to the understanding of love unfolded with quite a lot of floundering going on. Each experience pushed me closer and deeper to my own personal truth of love. There were many times I lost sight of the path altogether. Invariably, I would be pulled, kicking and screaming, back to where I had left off, to begin again. The journey was to discover my life's purpose. I now see love as that purpose. I needed to learn to navigate the stormy seas of life before I could fully appreciate the navigation process.

I've learned we all come from one source. We all yearn to return to that source. Each of us progresses at our own speed, tripping over a minefield of obstacles along the way. Some, be they saints or sinners, will suffer greatly along the way. Some will trip, fall and rise up to meet the love that was always there simply for the discovery of it. Each of us finds our own way; each way is different.

I've also come to realize every experience I have is a lesson of some kind, usually presenting itself in retrospect. Many people ask themselves, why did this happen to me? I will ask myself what I learned. That simple shift in thinking makes my personal journey much easier and gives me a perspective allowing me to walk through my days more peacefully and contented than in the past.

Few things drive us more potently than a male-female relationship. We can, moment-to-moment, toggle between heaven and hell, elation and despair. The relationship between male and female offers fertile ground for intense examination of beliefs about the work required to set each of us on the way to realizing the path we struggle to understand.

I had a past relationship that was extremely intense. It didn't progress in the direction I hoped for. All the inner work I had done on myself was called into focus. I was able to offer, for the first time ever, unconditional love. I could accept the disappointment with tender affection. Where there could have been anger I found peace in accepting what was. I now understand the reason for the experience. I was able to work to refine what has become my truth. Creative energy flowed. I found myself writing poem after poem.

Decisions made from the thinking of the ego mind doom any relationship. Ego, the great separator, will work diligently to distract us from the love we seek. Not realizing the ego is in control we run headlong away from the thing we most desire.

However, the heart, when given your permission, will bring an expansion into the innermost workings of the boundless love of source. Two people who are able to accept this dynamic and agree to work with it are very likely to experience the kind of love that will be intensely rewarding, fruitful, graceful and deeply satisfying to both partners. To love and be loved is a grand opportunity to fast-track to source, and thus find, at last, peace on Earth.

Donna Boehm, artist, poet, writer and sometime actor, lives in Talent. She thrives on the creative endeavors of the gifted hearts, minds and hands of the talented artists in the Rogue Valley and feels lucky to be counted among them.

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