Since you asked, Since You Asked is back
I’ll get straight to the point: What have you done with “Since You Asked”? I’ve got issues I want addressed, and I know I speak for a whole lot of my fellow readers, who also have issues.
Almost a year ago — on June 5, 2021, in fact — that “Get Off My Lawn” guy wrote an entire column saying that “Since You Asked” had not disappeared and was not being held hostage by a vast (or even half-vast) conspiracy.
Now, not only has SYA not returned, but the “Lawn” guy has disappeared as well! What gives? — Archie, via email
Archie, Archie, Archie … Can I call you Archie?
We are here to assure you that Since You Asked has not gone the way of the dodo, or even the “Get Off My Lawn” guy — although comparison has been flagged by the SYA Department of Redundancy Department.
Truth is, the reason we have been AWOL is we somehow managed to lose the keys to the SYA World Headquarters building and have been locked outside for so long the entire Journalists Doing Math Division ran out of fingers and toes on which to keep track.
But fear not, Archie! Since You Ask is coming back — in fact, if you’re reading this, you’ve probably realized it’s already here!
On the advice of the SYA Information Infrastructure Maintenance Task Force, we’re kicking off things with a weekly return of Since You Asked in the Sunday paper. So you and your issue-laden contingent can start sending those questions in by e- or snail mail.
We don’t do fax anymore because so many people nowadays don’t believe them when they come across one.
So send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or mail them to Since You Asked, Mail Tribune Newsroom, 111 N. Fir St., Medford, OR 97501.
Just don’t ask where the “Get Off My Lawn” guy went ... We’d rather not find out.