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To tweet or not to tweet ... is that even a question?

Former President Donald Trump twee ... said something (caught myself there) recently that I found interesting, if only because it meant that our respective Venn diagram circles had finally found a point of intersection.

Speaking to Newsmax, which is a media outlet for those who find Fox News to be too liberal, the twice-impeached No. 45 targeted the hand that once fed his compulsion to constantly comment 24/7/365.

Twitter, particularly the state of the social media cornerstone on which he’s no longer to twiddle his thumbs.

“It’s not the same,” Trump said. “If you look at what’s going on with Twitter, I understand it’s become very boring and millions of people are leaving. They’re leaving it because it’s not the same and I can understand that ... It’s become very boring.”

Now, the former president’s assertion that “millions of people are leaving” Twitter — when the company actually has gained users since Trump’s banishment, according to Fox Business (see what I mean?) — is easily explained by his persistent problems with estimating crowd size.

Where we actually travel in the same circular logic can be found in the rest of what he had to say.

“It’s not the same ...”

“... I understand it’s become very boring ...”

“... because it’s not the same ...”

“... I can understand that ...”

“... It’s become very boring.”

As a side note, you see what happens when you unshackle someone from a restrictive 280-character limit? They wind up reiterating themselves needlessly — as opposed to, I suppose, reiterating themselves with a purpose — saying the same phrases over and over consecutively several straight times in a row.

Not to mention dropping the superfluous “re-“ at the beginning of iterate.

But when you parse his point (go ahead, give it a shot), the twice-impeached former thumb-twiddler is onto something.

What he’s come to understand is that Twitter IS boring, only not because it’s no longer the same without his account. Rather, Twitter has become boring because it is always the same.

Tweet. Argue. Counter-argue. Lather, rinse, repeat.

It’s enough to make your eyes glaze over which is what I though was happening when I saw the bright lights emanating from the sockets of Sen. Cynthia Loomis of Wyoming had become a trending topic.

Turns out that the whites of her eyes, and the flashes of red surrounding them are part of a “laser” motif shared those supporting the advancement of cryptocurrency.

OK, so I did learn something on Twitter. I learned that Cynthia Loomis is a senator from Wyoming.

Twitter’s most-useful aspects — announcing sports trades, keeping track of breaking news and reporting updates on the status of Name Your Kardashian marriages — are no longer enough for those addicted to staring into the pond filled with their reflections on life.

This is, admittedly, easier for those of us who have never tweeted (at least not in polite company) to understand. But when a former pond starer such of the level as the ex-Twitterer in Chief comes across an acorn, maybe there’s hope for the rest of us.

Well, the rest of you since, I (re)iterate, I am not a Twit(terer).

That’s not to say that, in the prep work for this week, I haven’t spent time lurking and surfing for

filler

err, related fascinating topics to help in

stretching out

umm, reaching my word limit.

In doing so, and relating to Trump’s passion for fast-food, I twiddled upon something called the Meat Mountain Sandwich that a popular chain has introduced.

The Meat Mountain consists (according to the website) “two chicken tenders, slices of roast turkey, pit-smoked ham, corned beef, 13-hour smoked brisket, USDA-choice Angus steak, roast beef, and pepper bacon” — all stuffed in a burger bun, with slices of cheddar and Swiss cheese.

It’s not hard to imagine that, somewhere in Palm Beach, a red button being pushed with maniacal glee, summoning forth enough bottles of diet cola to wash down a sammie of that magnitude.

As though that were possible.

In the end, though, while private citizen Trump has come to understand Twitter is boring because it’s not the same without him, the reality is that this is a one-way street.

He’s no longer allowed to tweet (even in polite company), but lurk and surf enough and you’ll see that it’s as though he never left — whether it watching video of his Atlantic City hotel implode, of coming across a link to a story in Washingtonian magazine that breaks down a D.C. restaurant’s mandatory seven-step ritual for delivering his soft drink.

After all, Twitter has made this a smaller world ... but it’s still a bigly pond.

Mail Tribune news editor Robert Galvin’s eyes glaze over at rgalvin@rosebudmedia.com

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